Why

I give birth to this baby thinking what the baby could accompany me wherever I go or wherever I am. But I am wrong. Many of the
Things I cannot even make the decision. Why is this so. I am the mother I thought I already have the authority to do something. If not, when will I have the authority to make decision or make a choice on my own. I feel very upset. Right now,I don even have the right to feel upset. I wan to vent my anger but I got no place to do so.
I really feel sad.
I thought married life was happier more pampered more love. More laughter.
But I don laugh anymore.
Not anymore.
U can hardly see my laughter
I feel so coped up inside. I wan to shout n scream n cry out loud.
I hope after I do all that I will feel better. I like to live a happy n carefree life with my family.
But I don feel like that.
I get very stress up with the actions n things people say. Logical or not, I have to pretend to be happy.
I wan to laugh n joke around like I used to. I wan my daughter to be happy like what I used to be.

...

I feel so stressful with my life.
When the baby is awake I have someone to play with but when she is asleep, I feel so lonely.
I feel as if I am living alone in the world.

Time flies

Everything happen so fast.
In a blink of eyes,i am already 24 years old.
I am already a mother
I cant really believe it.
Still remember the times I go clubbing and get super high.
Those powerhouse, dragon fly, rebel...
Those cherry may days.
The ar Lu la ma pel dae....
I really missed those days when I was young n free.
But I really look forward to growing up with my baby.
I hope my baby n Elton will always be happy n healthy
Not forgetting my parents n my sisters who are always there for me.
Who really stood by me throughout.
I really understand what's the meaning when they say nothing is better then kinship.

my baby girl

Meet leshay

everyone
meet my baby girl, Leshay
love her to death :D
hope she will be happy and healthy all her life

oh by the way i wan to thank everyone for coming down to visit me

my parents, mil, sisters , relatives, all my cousins and friends!!!~~

thanks for the ang baos, chicken essense, gifts, presents for baby etc etc

i thank you all on behalf of my little leshay.

:D

and my husband who is there throughout the whole labour, without him, i don think i can overcome the pain and stress. even though i always get into arguement with him, i really cannot survive without him.

he was very strong for me throughout the whole labour.

he cooks for my confinment daily and take great care of me.

i am really very thankful for everything.

elton, i will put in my best effort to take care of you n baby

n hope the little elton ho family will always be happy n healthy.

HUAT AH!~

Baby girl

My baby girl is out .
Never let me suffer much. 8.30pm water burst, 12.21am give birth.
Quite fast muhahaha.
The contradiction pain is like hell. But lucky I always shit also very pain.
I am so happy . The baby is so fine n beautiful like mummy Muhahaha.
Meet my baby soon
:D

How much effort do u need to put?

Ever wonder how much effort do u need to put in something before u get back the same amount as the outcome.
Or u will never.
Ur first priority doesn't mean it's his first.
Or it will never ever be his first.
I am getting tired.
Why do I feel exhausted.
Will there be one day when he says he gives up on me.
Why do I always feel I am not worth anything after the things I have done for him.
He doesn't seems to appreciate anything.
Not eight years ago, not now, not in the future.
:(